Waking from the Dream
by yasuhei
Summary: A drunken night and a pleasant dream, but now with the dawn comes the reality and uncertainty of its repercussions for Kakashi.
1. Chapter 1: Kakashi

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Waking from the Dream  
A Naruto fanfic  
By yasuhei  
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Chapter One - Kakashi  
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He'd dreamt about Rin again.

It carried over, the sadness and the definite sense of peace that dreams of her always brought him. It was different dreaming of her than thinking of her, because when he dreamt although he would still become melancholy the truth of her absence was hidden from him and he could, if only for a little while, believe that she was still in his life. He still felt like the warmth of her from the dream was still with him, more comforting and pleasant than any duvet.

Then the headache began to make itself known, beating at him in time with his pulse and gradually increasing in strength. It was amazing the way that dreams of Rin could keep even hangovers at bay for a time. It was going to be bad, he knew it, making him wonder if maybe he shouldn't have indulged so much the night before. He definitely shouldn't have, remembering that his students had been there too. He was supposed to be setting a good example for them, well maybe not a good one, but not acting like that. The problem was that when Iruka had arrived Anko had been with him, and together the two off them had a way of egging him on. Iruka tempted him to act up just to irritate the teacher, and Anko was worse still - irresponsible, competitive and the devil's advocate. He should have decided not to drink the moment he saw the two of them.

But the warmth was still there, Kakashi realised. Even now that the dream was fading, and he let himself wonder if perhaps by some magic his dreams had been answered, and that Rin really was here with him now, brought here by is dreams hopes or desires.

No, Rin was gone for good, but the warmth wasn't, and come to think of it, there were other signs too. Signs as ominous as the warmth was nice. His right shoulder was pressed right back against a wall, but there was no room for movement in front of him either. Something soft and heavy was pinning him there, cramped but somehow comfortable too. He tried to think around the fog and pain in his head to try and work out what might be causing this. Vaguely he remembered another time where he'd gotten too drunk in the presence of Anko, and she had filled his entire apartment with stray cats. He hadn't had much room on his double bed that night either.

Slowly, expecting to see a complete disaster, Kakashi cracked open his eye. No disaster, no cats, just the semi-familiar decorations of Iruka's spare room. Still, there was definitely something, or someone in bed with him.

He hadn't, had he... not with... Iruka?

No, that didn't make sense, if he had, then why would he be in the guest bedroom. Besides, a muted and fuzzy memory reminded him that by the end of the evening a drunk (though less perhaps less drunk than the rest of them) Anko had all but glued over Iruka's body. If he'd ended up in bed with anyone then it would have to be her. He might be too gallant for his own good sometimes, but last night he had definitely been too drunk for his own good.

Oh god, they'd all been far too drunk. They'd made complete fools of themselves, and in front of Kakashi's own genin team too. Well, he supposed at the age of 16 they were probably capable of making their own decisions about what was appropriate behaviour, and it wasn't like they hadn't been drinking too. Come to think of it, they had had a fair bit themselves. Sasuke had become improbably loud, before getting even more quiet and sullen than usual, not a happy drunk that one. Naruto was boisterous, of course, ending up involving himself in the pissing matches between Anko and himself. Sakura had passed out for a while, then the rest of the evening rambling out streams of words that were little more than gibberish, but that had seemed really quite amusing at the time.

Oh no...

Sakura...

Suddenly filled with dread, Kakashi looked down, and carefully peeled the duvet back from the woman beside him. A huge grin split across his face as he found not a crop of pink hair but instead blonde. Not Sakura after all. He was...

...safe?

Beautiful, sleep-addled, blue eyes opened beneath the twin blonde pigtails as Naruto awoke.

"Huh? Kakashi sensei? What are you doing here?"

---

Coffee would help, Kakashi was sure of it. All he had to do was move quietly enough, and maybe he could get himself some coffee without waking anyone else. If he could get enough coffee inside himself then he was sure he'd be able to deal with this whole mess.

Maybe...

Maybe lady luck really hated him, because Iruka was already out in the kitchen cooking something on the stove. Anko was there too, sprawled out over the couch, one arm shielding her eyes and grumbling quietly to herself.

"Ahh Kakashi," Iruka said, somehow managing to smile despite the amount he'd drunk the night before and the dark bags under his eyes, "So you didn't make it home then?"

"Shut up," Anko demanded louder now, "and just make the damn food." She reinforced her well articulated position by blindly throwing a cushion in the cook's direction. It nearly found its way into the saucepan of miso soup.

"Coffee?" Kakashi tried, not feeling up to a more complex conversation yet.

"Food!" Anko growled.

"You'll have to get it yourself, sorry Kakashi. My hands are a little full here, preparing this wonderful feast for us all."

"Shut up," Anko said again, and then, perhaps in case anyone had forgotten, "Food!"

It took a few tries to find where everything was, but soon enough Kakashi had a steaming cup held to his lips. Even just the smell seemed to be pushing the pain and fog back a little, enough even to let him think a bit.

He'd woken up in bed with Naruto. Naked.

That was pretty bad. Pretty awful really, because he was pretty sure that the blonde hadn't remembered anything happening, and might not even understand the implications. Maybe in time he'd realise, or remember, but Kakashi could remember bits and pieces right now, which meant it was his problem, and his alone.

Worse, what little he could remember was good. Clumsy, drunken, but good. Even the memory was starting to stir him. Not good. Naruto was his student, not some one night stand he could avoid seeing ever again.

Worst of all, Naruto was also Iruka's student, or had been at least. When Kakashi's friend found out what had happened he was going to kill him.

Maybe, Kakashi realised, it was time to go. Time for a rapid strategic withdrawal with coffee in hand. But he couldn't do that to his friend, so instead he decided that perhaps the best defence would be an offence, or at least to control how the information was released. Information warfare at its... seediest?

"Iruka. I think I might have slept with one of my team-mates."

"Oh really? Dreaming of Rin again?" Iruka asked, walking out of the kitchen two hand Anko a bowl of rice and egg, and a bowl of miso, "Serve yourself Kakashi."

The food was unimportant for now, all that mattered was setting the battlegrounds himself. And the coffee.

"Yes. I dreamt of Rin, but that's not what I mean. I'm really worried that I might have slept with one of my team-mates."

Kakashi could see his friend's hands tighten on themselves, and could see the disapproval in the tensing of his back. There was a long pause before the younger man finally spoke, his voice a little less warm than it had been just a moment ago.

"You mean... Sakura?"

"Not... exactly..."

Now he just looked confused as he turned around to face Kakashi, which was possibly better than before. Kakashi just had to sound remourseful about the next part, and there was the chance he'd live through the morning. He had the perfect way to phrase it too. He opened his mouth and...

"Kakashi-sensei," a groggy voice interrupted his thoughts, "Do you know where my clothes are?"

He turned slowly, his stomach twisting as he realised that he hadn't laid his ground-works fast enough. Naruto was there standing in the doorway to Kakashi's de-facto room, wrapped nothing more than a bed-sheet. It probably could have been a very alluring look, if had been on a beautiful girl, instead a sixteen year old boy.

A loud clattering filled the sudden silence as chopsticks fell from Iruka's numb fingers and bounced of the coffee table.

"N..naruto...?"

Anko's laughter followed shortly after the school teacher's startled words, far too loud for this time of the day, and setting Kakashi's nerves on edge.

"In my favour," Kakashi tried, "He was a girl when I first woke up."

---

"Back soon."

The front door shut behind the shuffling Naruto, and Kakashi found parts of himself relxing, and parts tensing. He'd gone for Ramen carrying Iruka's money and wearing Iruka's clothes, which meant he'd probably be gone a while at least, which was fine by Kakashi. If he could get a little space from Naruto then maybe he'd be able to figure it all out. He needed some time to think.

But time wasn't something that that Iruka seemed inclined to give him.

"You need t fix this Kakashi. You need to fix it now."

He seemed angry, and not in his usual style either. Not the snappish outbursts that Kakashi usually provoked when he pushed at Iruka' boundries, but instead an intense and simmering anger at his core. As fierce and dangerous as a lioness protecting her young.

But it didn't matter. Iruka's anger alone couldn't change anything.

"What do you want me to do Iruka?" Kakashi was surprised at how tired his own voice sounded. He wished that he could shrug this all off with a 'maa', and some evasive comments, but Iruka was his friend and deserved better. Naruto did too. "You want me to summon the pixies to take me on a journey back through time? You want me to pray to the kami, make them turn it all into just a bad dream? I did it Iruka. It's already done. No matter how hard I wish I can't un-fuck Naruto. It's too late for that now."

Iruka visibly tensed up all over before sagging back, drooping and dropping heavily down onto the couch beside Anko.

"He's only sixteen Kakashi. He's not even a particularly mature example of a sixteen year old. He's got no family, just me and you, and the rest of his team. How do you think he's going to react to this when he remembers what he did? I'm pretty sure that was his first time. I'm not even sure that he really understands sex, or the emotions or repercussions that come with it. Now the choice of what to do about it has been completely taken out of his hands."

"I know." Kakashi rather felt like sagging himself, but the hard-backed chair by the table that he'd taken didn't make any sort of relaxed posture particularly easy to maintain. "But the choice was out of my hands too. Naruto wasn't the only person too drunk to know what he was doing."

Iruka nodded if only minutely, and the two remaining men in the room lapsed into silence. Melancholy settled over them heavily enough that Kakashi was almost surprised that it wasn't a visible blanked draped over the two of them.

Anko, however, seemed unfazed. She stretched her arms languidly above her head, arching her back as she did and then somehow managing to slide, or slither from sitting to standing.

"You ladies are so completely full of shit," It wasn't the pep-talk that Kakashi had been expecting, although given that it was Anko perhaps he should have known better. He watched as she slowly made her way to the kitchen, calling back over her shoulder, "So you fucked. So fucking what? It's just sex. He had to have sex sometime. What's the worse that can happen? Maybe he learns not to drink so much. Maybe _she_ learns to be careful who she spreads her legs for because the next morning they might not want to even talk to you. So fucking what? Same shit that he'd have to deal with anyway. Or do you have some serious venereal disease you haven't told me about yet Kakashi?"

She stopped there, grabbing a glass from the cupboard and starting to fill it with water. Kakashi couldn't help but notice how familiar she seemed with the kitchen's layout.

"Ahh, Anko," Iruka started, "I don't know that it's quite the same. Naruto never knew his parents. He doesn't have anyone to act as his role model, to help him understand what sex or love really are, or what he's feeling now. He doesn't have anyone outside his team to turn to if things are painful. And he's a boy too, even if he was a girl when it happened, he's still really a guy."

"How the fuck much input into my life do you think my family had?" Anko countered, actually starting to sound quite irritated, "You think I had many role models I could count on? And do you think that I felt better being fucked and discarded just because I really am a girl? He's not the first girl to fall into bed with the wrong guy. He'll survive it."

She paused for a moment to take a swig of her drink, throwing it back like she was angry with the fluid itself.

"You know what you are really worried about Iruka, 'cause I do even if you don't. Sometimes when you look at him you don't see Naruto, do you? You see yourself instead. Is that why you are so scared for him? Worried he'll become too attached after a quick roll in the hay. Scared he'll be rejected because his lay can never truly love him, or perhaps because he's just too chicken-shit to ask?"

"Naruto is different. He's vulnerable and he's alone. He doesn't have many friends and now one of them might be..." he shrugged his shoulders hopelessly, "This is the worst thing that could have happened to him." To Kakashi's horror he realised that his friend had started slipping into his lecturing voice.

"You know what Iruka," Anko put her glass down on the kitchen bench with exaggerated carefulness. From the sound of her growl she would just have soon smashed it to pieces, "It's far from the worst thing that could happen, and Naruto isn't the only one to not have many friends. You are full of shit, and I'm out of here."

She stopped just before the door, spoke again without turning around.

"Kakashi, you need to hurry up and work out what the fuck you want and what the fuck you are willing to do, before you hurt him even worse."

Iruka winced as she slammed the door behind her.

"So then," Kakashi asked, "How long has she been staying over for?"

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	2. Chapter 2: Anko

Chapter Two - Anko

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It was too bright outside, which didn't help the low pitched aching in head any. Still, the walk and the air did her some good. Her head might have hurt more, but it got clearer and easier to think with each passing minute, despite the pain. She was beginning to wonder whether she really should have stormed out like that. Not that she didn't think she had a right to be angry with Iruka, just that she sort of felt bad about leaving the two of them behind alone to screw it up. Naruto was a good enough kid, and he deserved to have them ready to deal with what had happened instead of just sitting there wallowing in pity and guilt. She didn't begrudge Naruto Iruka's concern or worry at all, but she hated the way the man acted like the younger blonde was the only person in the world who could be vulnerable. There were plenty of other people out there who were easily damaged too, and it would be nice to see him occasionally sharing his concern between others too.

The school teacher had really been starting to get under her skin recently, irritating her more easily than many could manage to, and yet like an idiot she kept looking him up anyway. She had to learn to get away from him when she started drinking. She had no idea why, but through a haze of alcohol the man looked surprisingly attractive. Maybe she needed to find somewhere else to drink, or maybe just someone else to start sleeping with. That solution was a simple one, and had always worked in the past when things started getting tricky, but this time the idea immediately soured in her gut, twisting her right up. He was pretty delicate compared to most of her friends, and she couldn't really do that to him without talking about it. But she wasn't anything like ready to talk about it either.

Shit. Her head hurt, and she didn't like the way her thoughts were turning. There was little chance of drumming up any violence to distract herself with, which left her with only one real course of action. She needed to get herself another fucking drink.

Her feet stopped and rotated her towards the closest bar that she knew of that would serve her before midday. A few tokkuri full of hot sake, that's what she needed. Then maybe she'd take a stroll through one of the parks, admire the flowers and get into a drunken argument with some of the old folk over whether what she was wearing was scandalous or not. She always felt much better after that. There was something incredibly calming about exchanging angry words amongst beautiful scenery.

She almost made it there. She was only a stone's throw away from the bar she had in mind when she spotted the messy, spiky, blonde hair of Iruka's favourite student. The boy was slouched down on a bench along the side of the road, looking somewhat the worse for wear. He had what Anko assumed was the take-away ramen with him, and from the looks of it was more or less untouched. Anko couldn't claim to know the blonde particularly well, but she did know enough to realise that untouched ramen nearby him was not a good sign at all.

Anko felt her heart dropping as she realised she wasn't going to end up carrying out her original plan. She could just ignore the blonde, turn and walk away to another bar, but if she did that she doubted that she'd manage to cheer herself up anyway. The kid was important to one of her closest friends, and that meant that her conscience would punish her if she just left him be.

Shit.

She sighed as she turned her back on the bar and instead plopped herself down on the bench beside the younger shinobi. There was always the chance, she supposed, that he'd want to get drunk with her, but she doubted that she was that lucky.

"So then," Anko said, wondering how the fuck you were supposed to break the ice when it came to something like this. Idly she considered attacking him in the hope of taking his mind off it, but discarded the idea quickly. It was too early and her head hurt too much for that, so instead, "Pretty wild time we had last night."

He winced visibly, and nodded his shakily, but other than that gave no response.

The wince suggested he'd remembered it now, but was hardly absolute confirmation. Besides, she'd always preferred bluntness to endlessly hedging around the issue. "So I guess you won our bet then."

He changed from unmoving to the sudden stillness of tension in battle, and Anko knew immediately that he remembered far more than he wanted to.

"It wasn't really a bet..."

"Sure it was," Anko said, starting to warm to the conversation now. She might not have had a drink but there was still the chance of an argument. She could give Naruto the chance to blame this all on someone else in case he needed to, "I remember telling you that I'd make a better Hokage than you ever would, because I knew how to wrap men around my finger, and I remember you agreeing to prove me wrong. And well, by the end of the evening you proved me wrong. Looked like you were doing a pretty good job of getting what you wanted from him."

"Yeah, I guess I was..." Anko had expected anger. She'd expected fire, but for all the tension in him, Naruto was acting more like an oozy puddle. She couldn't claim to know him that well, but she had had worked with him on missions, and never before had she seen him acting so defeated; not even in the face of failure. It was like talking to a lifeless photograph of him instead of the living breathing version, "Do you think that he would have... I mean, if he wasn't drunk he wouldn't have done it with me, would he?"

Goddamn it, the kid actually sounded vulnerable. If it had been her Anko would be in the shower by now, trying to wash every last memory and scrap of his scent off her.

"Probably not. I don't know what Kakashi is feeling or thinking, only he can know this, but I do know a little about him He's lazy, perverted and a jerk, but as a ninja he isn't a complete waste. He's the leader of your squad, and he used to be your teacher. No matter what he was feeling he wouldn't have tried anything if he knew what he was doing, he's usually more professional than that. Now that it's already happened though, well you'll have to ask him."

He wasn't giving her enough clues. Knowing the 'right' thing to say was difficult at the best of times, and he wasn't giving her a single inkling of what he wanted or needed. She wondered why the hell she was bothering with this kid anyway. There hadn't been anyone there to hold her hand when she'd been in similar situations. Still, whatever it was that was driving her had her too firmly in its grasp, and she kept on going anyway. Bluntly maybe, and clumsily, but she kept going.

"Do want him to have wanted to? I mean do you wish he'd done it sober?"

He folded into himself even more, and when his reply did come it was not only lacking its usual vibrancy, but also whisper quiet.

"I don't know." He was quiet after that for a time, and Anko began to think he was done. She'd just started to wonder what the hell she was supposed to say next when finally he continued, "Not really. I mean, I don't think I want it at all, but... But if it happened I don't want it to have just happened for no reason. If it happened isn't it supposed to mean something? I always thought that when it happened it would be really special."

Anko had to stop herself from snorting. With teacher's like the one's that Naruto had had she would have expected him to have been reading those ecchi novels, but instead it sounded more like he'd been reading girl's romance novels. Where the fuck did kids get these crazy idea from. The scariest think was that there had been a time when she was the same; waiting for her prince. Well she sure had to grow out of that idea real fast.

"Sometimes," she found herself saying, "Sometimes it's perfect, sometimes it's the most fucking horrible thing that ever happens to you, and sometimes it's just sex; a quick, frantic fuck to keep the ghosts away, or to stave off the boredom."

"Is that what happened to you?" He looked shocked, Anko realised, like he genuinely couldn't believe that sex wasn't part of some amazing magical thing that made everything in the world perfect. He'd learn eventually, she knew. Sex was only perfect and magical when you'd had exactly the right amount to drink, and even then it was fleeting, and usually a disaster the following morning.

"No. It was worse than that for me," She told the boy, "For me it was special, but for him it was nothing, less that that even. I wasn't anything more than a stupid girl, a tool and a nice feeling around his cock. But although that happened to me, I still turned out okay."

"You turned out okay?"

That almost made her laugh. The brat could be so inconsiderate, and yet it was nice find someone to whom her past wasn't a taboo subject. And besides, If he was still able to be sarcastic then maybe there was hope for him after all.

"Well, maybe not okay. I am pretty fucked up. But I survived it all, and you will too. Even if Kakashi was as much of a fuck as my first lover then you'd still survive, and I hope he;s a damn sight better. You'll be alright kid. You've got friends who love you."

He nodded again, but this time he was looking up at her. He believed her, she could see that, just as clearly as she could see the uncertainty in his eyes. One small vote of confidence in his abilities and now he was looking at her like she knew the secrets of life itself. It was crazy really, she didn't even know what _she_ wanted.

"I don't know what to do Anko... What am I supposed to do?"

He was asking her? How was she supposed to help him when she couldn't make good decisions even for herself? Even when given excellent advice she had a way of managing to end up with shattered or horribly deformed relationships and friendships. She was better at running away than at fixing things between people. Naruto needed the help of someone wiser, and Anko begun to realise, she might know just the woman for the job.

"I think what we've gotta do kid, is go ask my friend."

---

She wasn't home when they arrived of course, but then Anko had made sure they'd come prepared. They sat side by side on the steps outside Kurenai's apartment each armed with containers of their favourite food, although Anko's supply was fast diminishing. At this rate she figured she'd end up breaking in there before her friend got home. She was starting to get restless sitting here doing nothing. There was a problem before her that she needed to fix, and she hated to have to sit around and wait for it. She wanted to just do this, and she wanted to do it now.

Her current companion didn't seem to be of the same opinion however. He was eating his ramen now at least, but it was very slow going, and not at all his normal behaviour. His whole manner in fact, was reluctant and lethargic.

The worst bit however was the question, which she was fairly certain she was about to get again. She could almost see the words forming inside the brat's mind, before pushing forward to sit ready in his mouth. If his complaints had been any more regular then she could have set a clock by him, and it seemed like it was time again.

"Is this really a good idea Anko?"

"We've already been over this half a dozen times," she didn't understand why the blonde couldn't just squash his uncertainty down into the pit of his stomach and pretend it wasn't there, instead of pestering her with the same irritating questions over and over again, "Yes. Yes, I'm fucking sure. It's a great idea."

"But I don't know her at all or anything, and I don't know about telling other people about what happened."

Anko wondered how long she'd be able to keep putting up with this shit before she completely and utterly lost her patience with Naruto.

"Maybe if you didn't want people to know then you shouldn't have started doing it in the bar," admittedly, that had been as much her fault as the blonde's. She had been egging him on intentionally, and the blonde had only been echoing her own drunken behaviour. Still, she wasn't about to admit that now, "You were sitting on his lap and hanging all over him, and then you left with him too. Sure, you left with us too, but that won't make it look much better. People might not know what set of lips you used, but they've got to have a pretty fucking good idea that you did something with him.

"You transformed into a girl right there in the bar too. I don't know if anyone saw it actually happen, but there's a pretty good chance that they did. Wouldn't it be better to work this shit out now before someone starts asking you awkward questions."

Naruto's face was bright red by now, and he looked like he was about ready to try and climb up out of his own skin to get away from the reality behind her words.

"Yeah but..."

"Besides," Anko added, already feeling guilty for the outburst. She considered apologising for her phrasing, but fuck it. If the brat was going to treat her like a friend or confident then he could learn to put up with her vulgar way of putting things, "You can trust Kurenai, probably better than you can trust me. She's never broken my trust, not as long as I've known her, and we need her advice. There are lines between friendship, sex and love, and I don't understand them at all. I've never really known what it was I was feeling, and I've never know what it was I was supposed to be doing. Kurenai understands all this shit."

"Oh really Anko?" The sound of Kurenai's voice broke Anko's attention away from the blonde. How had she managed to miss the newcomer's arrival? Fucking Hangovers.

"The last I heard there really wasn't anything to understand," Kurenai continued. The words were waspish, but the tone was too warm for them to be stinging. Besides, Anko knew she probably deserved them, "Well it's nice to hear how much you value my opinion anyway."

Kurenai slipped between and through the seated couple and began to unlock her front door, leaving Anko feeling a little flustered and uncomfortable. Kurenai was a good friend, but she hadn't wanted her to hear any of that. She didn't ever want to rehash that argument with the woman. Once had been plenty enough.

Slowly she got to her feet and followed her friend inside.

"I'll make us some tea." Kurenai called over her shoulder, and slipped into the kitchenette.

Anko let her go and headed straight for the lounge. Kurenai was a big enough girl now to not need her hand held while she boiled the kettle. This place was the closest thing Anko had to a second home too, and she wasn't about to start acting like she was a stranger here just because she'd had to bring a brat along with her.

She turned around as she threw herself down into the most comfortable chair in the room, and found herself facing not the boy she expected but instead the woman from the night before. She was dressed more modestly than she had been last night, _far_ more modestly, but she still wasn't exactly like the vestal virgin.

"Uh," Naruto seemed unable to meet her eyes quite yet, "If I've got to talk about what happened then it's easier doing it like this."

It was funny really, Anko mused as she looked at the blonde, even now that Naruto had grown she would still get a fair bit taller when she shifted into a woman. Taller, more slender, and meeker in some manner that was hard to define. She wondered whether that meekness was intentional or not. Was that what the blonde saw women as, or was it something deeper? There was always the chance that the blonde did it because she felt less comfortable as a girl. Or, the nastier and more amused parts of her mind suggested, that she just felt less pressure to prove herself as an unknown girl than she did as the male 'demon fox kid'.

If the blonde had been out drinking with her a few months earlier then Anko wouldn't have been surprised if she had been the one to end up in bed with her. Women weren't her preferred option most times, but when it came to them, well, physically at least girl-Naruto was her type. There was something exquisite about pinning a taller girl down to the bed while she started on them. It just wasn't the same doing so with a man. A beautiful woman stretched out over a bed was a work of art, a man in the same position was, well something entirely different.

"So," Anko said, drawing herself back to the matter at hand, "You feel better talking about screwing a guy when you are a girl?"

"Yeah," the blonde nodded shakily, "It feels weird thinking about it when I'm a guy too. Like its wrong, you know? Even when I was young, and had the crush on Sakura it was sort of weird to think about that sort of stuff when I was a girl, like I had the wrong bits, you know? I mean two girls together isn't right is it?"

Anko snorted at that, but grinned anyway.

"You shouldn't knock it until you've tried it kid. There's plenty you can do, whatever bits you've got between the two of you."

"Ahh, but then there is something nice about being gently held in a man's arms, wouldn't you say Anko." Kurenai interrupted, walking through the room to set three cups upon the table and start pouring the tea.

Kurenai's comment was aimed to embarrass her, but Anko couldn't help but notice that the one who seemed to truly get flustered at the comment was the young blonde.

"Yeah, fucking a guy is a lot of fun too," she replied, avoiding the real question. Asuma and Kurenai's relationship had been nothing like the sort of thing that she tended to get up to, "So where's your little rugrat?"

"Akiko is with her grandparents," Kurenai said, settling herself down across from Naruto and giving a quiet and sincere smile to the blonde, "Now Anko, did you need to see me for anything in particular, or is this just a social visit?"

"We got pissed last night," Anko said. Preambles were for other loosers, "Really fucking hammered, and Naruto ended up trying to prove to me that she could manipulate guys using their sex drives as well as I could. Well she succeeded too well, and now she doesn't know what to do about it, and you know how good I am at that sort of thing, so I thought we'd ask you instead."

Kurenai smiled over at Naruto and sipped at her tea.

"Are you happy to talk to me about it Naruto?" the blonde gave Kurenai a somewhat hesitant nod, and she continued, "Who was it Naruto?"

"Kakashi sensei."

The blonde was back to avoiding eye contact again, Anko noted, feeling the sudden urge to smack him in the head. It was only sex for fucks sake, not a declaration of love or a statement about who he was. Luckily Kurenai was quite obviously un-phased by his behaviour.

"Ahh, your captain. Well that must make things even more difficult. Can you tell me how you feel about what happened?"

The blonde gave a helpless little shrug, cradled the steaming cup of tea in her hands without actually drinking it.

"I don't know. I mean, he's important to me, and it felt really good, and afterwards too, but I don't know what to feel about it. I'm confused and upset, and I'm scared too, but I don't know what it is I'm scared of."

Kurenai leant forward across the table reached out and touched one of Naruto's hands, squeezing it gently into the cup. Anko could never understand how she managed to make that sort of gesture to work for her. That shit just made Anko fell uncomfortable when she tried it, she was far more of a shoulder slap sort of girl. But it did work for Kurenai, and amazingly well. Already Naruto was starting to relax some, and without needing any more encouragement than that she started to speak again, her voice shaky and pained, but somehow more resolute than it had been moments before.

"First I'm scared that he did it just because he was drunk or just because he could, and it means nothing to him. Then I'm scared that maybe it does mean something to him, and I just don't want that. Then I'm scared what if I really do want something, and I shouldn't, and that means there's something wrong with me. Then I'm scared that it doesn't matter to me and nothing ever is going to matter, and I'll be alone forever and there'll never be anyone for me."

He looked up uncertainly, and found Kurenai waiting there for him with a reassuring smile. She was so good at this shit that it could be aggravating sometimes. She could say with a single change of expression something that would take Anko 10 years planning and a variety of speech prose and haiku to convey. Heart to heart conversations with her could sometimes make Anko feel inadequate, like that.

"I guess," Naruto continued, "that I'm not sure if what I'm feeling is because it was him, or just because it happened at all with anyone, and all the closeness and stuff. I haven't felt like that ever before you know, like I'm wanted that much, like there's someone that close to me."

Naruto stopped, letting her eyes drop to the cup in her hands, as if it was the tea that was advising her instead of the woman in front of her. Across form her Kurenai echoed her two handed grip on her cup, but leant forward as she began to speak in a quiet, soothing tone.

"It's often confusing, this sort of thing. Our bodies usually know what they want, but our minds and our hearts often do not. Often our bodies don't agree with the rest of us either, so you can do things that you never meant to and later regret. It can be very confusing for anyone, but it must be a little more difficult for you I would think. This was your first time, right, and I don't imagine that you thought it would be with another man, or when you were a woman."

"Yeah..." Naruto mournfully agreed, sneaking a quick, nervous glance at the older woman, and relaxing when he saw that she was still smiling, "I just don't know what to do. I've got no idea about it at all."

"We'll help you as best we can, Naruto," Kurenai said, "But in the end only you can really answer that question. You are the only person who can really know how it is that you feel, or even what it is that you truly want, and that means that you are going to have to find a lot of the answers yourself. But we will be here to help you."

"Thanks," Naruto murmured, her voice getting thick, and Anko wondered if a loose acquaintance being kind to her really was as big a deal to her as she was making out, "I guess," she continued after a moment, "That I want someone special in my life. Maybe not right now, maybe not for a long time even, but eventually. I want to be able to share everything with someone someday."

"Most of us do Naruto." Kurenai broke to take a small sip of her tea before continuing on, "You will find someone special Naruto. One day you will definitely find the right person for you. Finding them isn't the tricky part. That part is recognising them when you do find them and making sure that you hold onto them, and don't just let them drift away from you."

Had it really been as easy for Kurenai as she was making it sound, Anko wondered, because it sure as fuck wasn't for her. She wondered some days if the right person had already come and gone from her. Even for Kurenai it might not have been so simple, she realised, it had taken her and Asuma a very long time before they were willing to admit their relationship to the outside world. Maybe that meant that sometime even she would actually be ready enough as Kurenai was suggesting, and find and grab the right relationship. In any case, Anko kept herself quiet and let her friend keep working her magic upon the blonde.

"Just beware of fear Naruto. Don't be too scared to take something good when its there before you. If you find them you mustn't be too scared to accept your love for them. But you can't afford to be scared of being alone either, or you might take the wrong person. All you can do is keep your eyes wide and your heart ready. There's never anything wrong with those feelings, so just be ready to listen to them when they come."

And here the great Kurenai went on about love. Had Naruto even noticed that that was what he was talking about now? Probably not, Anko figured. If he'd thought about it properly then he probably would have been far more freaked out. It was amazing how Kurenai could do this. She was probably right too, as an orphan love probably was bigger thing for him than for many others. She could relate to that, even if she didn't want to.

"But... how do I know when I do find it?" Naruto asked, "How am I supposed to know I've got it?"

"It's not easy. It's different for each person, and even if it wasn't it wouldn't matter, because those feelings are impossible to really describe. But that doesn't mean that we can't eliminate some things." Kurenai stood up to move around the table towards Naruto. The younger girl lifted her eyes to actually watch her, didn't even complain when Kurenai sat close enough that her left leg and elbow pressed up against her lightly, "So instead of thinking about Kakashi, could you pretend that instead of Kakashi it was another man who you went to bed with?"

"Pretend?" Naruto asked, turning actually face Kurenai, "What do you mean exactly."

"Close your eyes," Kurenai murmured, waiting until the blonde complied, "Try to imagine that you woke up in bed with another man, a complete stranger who you haven't met before. Picture seeing his strange face when you open your eyes, and start to think about how finding him there with you makes you feel."

It was fairly obvious how that made her feel, even to Anko. The blonde seemed to shrink back into her self, curling up and pushing back into the couch as she considered Kurenai's questions. She must have anticipated it, Anko saw now, as Kurenai slipped an arm behind the blonde's shoulders, "Do you feel less safe there with another man? Is it less nice than with Kakashi, or is it even worse than less nice, disgusting or horrible?"

Naruto shuddered as she opened her eyes, leaning sideways into Kurenai and obviously grateful for the other woman's presence and touch. Typically Naruto tended to look a little older in his oiroke no jutsu form than he did normally, but the way she looked right now, she seemed more like a lost and upset little girl to Anko. It wasn't a pleasant sight for her, almost enough to make her get up and leave the room. Sitting like that the blonde was a horrible reminder of times in her youth when Anko had felt every bit as lost and as fragile as the other girl looked right now. Such a strong reaction from Naruto, was her imagination as strong as that, or had Kurenai worked a genjutsu when she wasn't watching? She hadn't noticed any charka manipulation, but then with Kurenai sometimes you just didn't.

"Yeah," Naruto started, before pausing and taking the first sip of the tea that was still cradled in both her hands, "Yeah, it wasn't safe really, like I felt that I should be fighting something, but I couldn't. It was wrong. Made me feel a bit like I was sick, not throwing up sick, and not that badly, just, yeah... sick. I don't know." She sighed, shifting against Kurenai, laying her head down against the other woman's neck. Anko supposed that sort of thing was the hidden benefit to being a more touchy-feely type, "But... what does that mean about Kakashi and me?"

"It means that you trust Kakashi and care enough about him to feel safe with him," Kurenai said, lifting her arm to gently touch the blonde hair of Naruto's head, "It means that you feel some level of affection for your captain, something perfectly normal amongst friends. If it means more than that then you'll have to find it out yourself, I think."

Naruto nodded slightly, looking better since Kurenai had spoken, but not moving away from her yet. "Okay..."

"Could you pretend for a moment that you will continue with Kakashi, Naruto?" Kurenai waited for the next nod before continuing, "Ignoring what he might want or like, could you be with him if you were still a boy. Sexually, and just romantically too. Forget about him, about what other people might think. Just worry about yourself. Could you do it?"

Naruto stilled, even her breathing seemed to stop until she was ready to answer the question.

"No . Not when I'm a guy. It's just wrong thinking about doing it. Maybe you know, like dates or something, but not sex, and not kissing. It would be too weird feeling for me."

Kurenai smiled, though Naruto wouldn't be able to see it from where he was, and slowly stroked her hair, "Then if you were to be with Kakashi you would have to do it as a girl. Now you need to decide if you could ever be in a relationship where you had to be a girl. If you can't, that's okay, and it means you know you don't have to worry about Kakashi anymore. Anything further with him will be impossible, so you can just worry about staying friends."

"Yeah I guess," Naruto said, voice stronger than before, but still sounding uncertain, "I don't hate being a girl or anything, but I've never really stayed like that very long, or done it all that much together, just when I have to. Mostly I don't even think of myself as a girl when I'm like that, most of the time anyway. I just don't know really."

"Then perhaps we should try and find out whether that is something you would be comfortable with." Kurenai said, her eyes lifting up and finding Anko's own.

"Try finding out?" Naruto was asking Kurenai, sounding confused.

Anko felt the grin bursting across her face. Now this was the sort of help she could give the blonde and actually manage to still enjoy.

"It's time," she announced, "For a girl's night out!"

---

There were a fair few things that one could do on a girl's night out. Keeping mind, however, that Naruto was supposed to be exposed to guys as a woman to see if it made her uncomfortable, and that Anko had yet had the opportunity to get a decent drink today, well there was only really only type of viable venue.

The bar was a mixed one, meaning in this case that Ninja were freely mingling with some of the more adventurous type of civilian. It was places like this that had allowed Anko to discover that guys were as likely to be a shitty lay whether they were a civilian or ninja.

Smoke hung far heavier in the air in places like these, since civilians tended to be far less concerned about keeping their lungs in working order than those who regularly had to fight in hand to hand combat. The place was filled with scores of voices, mingling and echoing together into a dull roar, but then that would be the case whether the place was mixed or ninja only.

Personally Anko actually liked the noise. It was impossible to pick out details from the hubbub unless the speaker was right nearby you, and somehow that made it easier to shut out the rest of the world when you couldn't properly hear it. Easier to focus exclusively on what was happening right next to you. It could help shut out her thoughts sometimes too, when she was in the right frame of mind. There were times that the constant hammering of a dozen conversations could knock away her nagging doubts when all the gentle soothing in the world wouldn't help.

And of course, there was booze.

Naruto couldn't have much tonight, considering that the last time she had she'd jumped into bed with the closest man, but that in no way was going to stop Anko herself from drinking.

Maybe she should be getting Naruto drunk again, she briefly mused. This time she might end up in bed with Kurenai instead, which would probably do Kurenai a world of good. Probably not the blonde though... Naruto needed answers right now, not more confusing questions. Nowhere near as fun of course, but it wouldn't do to have Iruka hear that she'd let his favourite ex-student get in even further over his head.

"Hey, old man," she called out to the bartender, "two bottles of sake, and some plum juice."

It was her turn to buy the drinks, of course.

There was a light touch upon her upper arm, and Anko had to restrain herself from automatically whirling and striking out.

"HeyAnko," a slightly slurred, rough male voice greeted her. The stupid fuck, did he have a death-wish? Touching a ninja before greeting them first, "Who's that girl with you tonight?"

"Kurenai?" Anko responded, tasting the sake on his breath even without facing him

"No not her. I mean the blonde."

Anko sighed and turned to face the man. She vaguely recognised him. They'd definitely gotten drunk together a few times in the past, but she was pretty sure nothing more than that had happened. She sure as fuck hoped not anyway. Half inebriated as he was made him not the most pleasant of sights. No, she definitely would have remembered waking up next to a face like that.

"Oh her," Anko said noticing the way he was staring quite intently at the booth where Kurenai and Naruto waited her return, "She, my friend, is out of your league."

She really was too. Even if Naruto hadn't really been a confused guy, then she still would've been well and truly out of reach for this joker. She couldn't remember what had ever made her hang out with sort of person. There had been a time when she'd been able to handle the pathetic and conversation, and sometimes join in on the open appreciation of other women. She wasn't sure what had changed, but it seemed completely worthless now.

"Seriously Anko, who is she?"

Anko snorted. "What? You mean you haven't hear of Konoha's #1 most surprisingly beautiful ninja?"

The man took a long hard look over at Naruto. "Can't say I have, and trust me, I'd have remembered."

Yeah, he would have remembered the blonde, of that she was certain. If she'd had a technique like that when she was Naruto's age, oh the fun she would have had, and all without the majority of the repercussions that could come from such a fling. No lasting attatchments to worry about if you looked like a completely different person the next night. It was probably just as well that she hadn't had something like it really. She'd been fucked up enough back then.

"Yeah, well,

I'd introduce you but we are busy discussing the nature of love and the meaning of sex."

"That doesn't sound like something you'd be talking about, Anko."

The man seemed to be going for cute and teasing, but it really wasn't working for him Anko, had to resist the urge not to knee him in the stomach.

"Well I'm only here for the sex part of the conversation," Anko said, snatching up the drinks as the barman offered them to her, "Seeya."

"Hey hold up," the man called after her, "A conversation about love and sex is just the sort of thing that would suit me."

"Yeah?" Anko said, not bothering to even turn back to look at him, "Well it's a girl's night out, so you'll have to have that conversation with your hand instead."

Ignoring whatever it was he had to say next she headed back to her table. She slid down into the booth opposite to the other two, and passed out the drinks. She noticed the way Naruto's eyes sought out the sake, even as she reached for the plum juice. Had she started to develop a taste for the stuff, Anko wondered, or was she still feeling quite nervous?

When they had first come in, Naruto's nervousness had been all too obvious, but since then she seemed to have settled down a fair bit. They'd drawn her out of herself by talking about things that they were fairly certain Naruto was comfortable with - fighting and techniques mostly – but since then topics had shifted gradually towards the less familiar, and occasionally the more feminine. Kurenai's careful directing of the conversation and occasional comforting touch seemed to have allowed Naruto to relax, though now Anko began to wonder if the little amount of sake that the blonde had drunk had made a bigger impact than she had guessed.

Well, Anko mused, maybe the blonde could have sake next round. So long as she managed to say on the tipsy side of drunk it should be fine.

"So who was that you were talking to?" Kurenai asked, pouring herself a cup of sake, a small smile inching onto her face, "A friend of yours?"

Emphasis on friend, Anko thought to herself, though in truth Kurenai's voice had been fairly flat, and she was only suspecting that she was being teased.

"Just someone I used to drink with."

"Is that so?" Kurenai murmured, "Well he seemed quite keen to continue speaking with you."

"Not really me," Anko countered, wondering if she should really bring it up in front of Naruto. Well fuck it, if she couldn't handle this, then that probably just answered the question of whether she could be comfortable as a girl, "He was more interested in trying to talk to our young friend here. Seemed to think that she the type of girl who'd suit him quite well."

"Oh really?" Kurenai said, sounding both interested and a little amused.

Naruto herself seemed to have frozen in mid sip of her drink. Her face had coloured, her features fallen, and she looked a fair bit less than completely comfortable with the idea.

Anko let the thought hang in the air for a few moments before taking pity on Naruto.

"Don't worry. I told him that you were way out of his league."

"Out of his league?" Naruto asked, looking far less uncomfortable now, but still with a splash of red across her cheeks.

"Yeah," Anko drawled, "That's what I said. You're not a bad looker at all when you are like that, and for a girl that's really a guy, well you have quite a bit of class. At least you do before you open up your mouth."

It didn't take long for indignation to wash the embarrassment from the compliments off Naruto's face.

"Hey! What's wrong with the way I talk?"

Anko could see the laugher lurking in the corners of Kurenai's eyes too, but knew she wouldn't let it show. That was okay. Kurenai was the 'good cop' and she was the bad. These sort of conversations were always much easier for Anko when she treated it like an interrogation.

"Oh I don't know..." she said, turning to her friend, "Hey Kurenai, what is it they say about people who display excessive enthusiasm in their dialogue?"

"Oh no Anko, I don't think Naruto is childish."

"I'm not a kid!" Naruto objected, sounding more animated now than she'd been all day.

Perhaps it was time then.

"I guess not..." Anko's teasing voice dropping to a more serious tone, "There wasn't childish about the way you were speaking last night. I seem to remember some of your words then being distinctly adult."

The enthusiasm and life dropped away from Naruto's face in an instant, and the smile that replaced it was lacking Naruto's usual honesty. Anko could sympathise, for there had certainly been times when she had been uncertain how to feel about her own behaviour, times when she had outright regretted it too.

"I don't know why I did it," Naruto was telling the table top now, "It just doesn't seem to make sense to me anymore."

Kurenai was there ready for her with welcoming arms, and Anko couldn't help but think of the times when she could have used a gentle touch, but there had been no one. It wouldn't happen to Naruto, she decided. She'd make sure there was always someone there to listen, even if it was someone who was fucking useless at this shit.

"You were pissed," she told the blonde, "and we can all do crazy shit when we've been drinking."

"You were drunk," Kurenai agreed, "but perhaps there were other reasons too. Perhaps you were enjoying the attention, enjoying the way Kakashi was paying attention to you alone?"

Naruto gave a slight nod, and Kurenai continued, "We all like to get attention sometimes, and we all like to be noticed by the people we care about. Feeling that way doesn't make you any different from the rest of us."

"But what if feeling like this makes me keep acting like that with everyone? If being a girl makes me feel like this all the time..."

Anko snorted, interrupting before the blonde could find the words to finish her thought, "You know that you don't have to fuck them even if you do like the attention, right? If you are really worried just make sure you don't drink too much. If you can't manage to keep yourself from fucking the wrong people when you're sober, then you've got bigger problems than we thought."

"Naruto," Kurenai added, "You must understand that your desire for attention doesn't come from being a girl. That is something you bring with you when you transform. It is human to want to be accepted, and have people show awareness of your existence. This is not dependant upon your gender."

"Really?" Naruto asked, doubt heavy in her voice.

"Of course. For many years you have been saying that you wish to become Hokage, so that the whole village will acknowledge you. I understand that you have other reasons to desire that post too, but can you really say that your desire for such acknowledgement is really so different from your craving for other types of attention?"

"Maybe not..." Naruto said, her smile turning uncertain, but at least seeming to be honest again.

"Definitely. They are the same thing, and the only real difference is how you let them affect you. Besides," Kurenai said, changing tack, "I think that you will find that often the attention can be quite an uncomfortable thing."

"I don't know..." Naruto mumbled, blushing again, "It felt pretty good..."

"It felt pretty good coming from a man you like and trust, and who also happens to quite attractive," Kurenai countered, "Why don't you get our next round of drinks and see how the admiration of drunken strangers compares."

"What now?" Naruto asked, "Uh yeah, fine. I can do that. No problems."

"Hey brat," Anko called out as Naruto clambered to her feet, "Remember that you could beat the shit out of any one of those fuckers. You are better than them. You are more beautiful than them. You are above them. They don't get to decide what happens, you do, and tonight you've decided to hang out with your girlfriends. You'll beat down anyone who gives you any shit. Just remember that, and you'll be fine."

She was rewarded by the straightening of Naruto's shoulders, a subtle realignment of her posture that told Anko that her confidence had re-emerged. You had to carry it with you, Anko knew, the sense that this was your show, that the rules were yours. If you had that then no fucker could hurt you.

The two of them watched as the blonde made the short walk to the bar, attracting more than her fair share of attention as she went. The people at the bar itself managed to both make room for her and cluster closer all at the same time. The men there were very obviously interested, but there was a level of caution and respect there that might not have been had Naruto approached with a less certain and confident attitude. Naruto was going to be fine, Anko was sure of that. The brat knew how to handle herself, and confidence was something she had more than a passing familiarity with.

"There's something strange about Naruto's transformation," Kurenai said, a little quiter now, "It's not normal."

"Naruto's hardly normal either. It's to be expected."

"It's not an illusion," Kurenai continued, "I'd know if it was genjutsu, and that wouldn't let her sleep with a man anyway. I don't think it's kage bunshin based either, it's an actual physical transformation. Have you heard of anything like that before?"

"Heard of it sure," Anko replied, "Actually seen it? No. I wouldn't bother worrying about it though. Naruto has certain advantages over the rest of us. Naruto is a mischievous trickster, who can sometimes turn into a beautiful, human woman. It sounds a little familiar, wouldn't you say? Not the most harmful of possible side-effects given what's sealed within him, and if Jiraiya himself isn't worried about it then I don't see any reason why we should be."

Kurenai nodded, smiled, but didn't say anything. A subtle motion of her eyes warned Anko not to say any more either, and moments later their blonde companion was squeezing back into the booth with them.

"So how was it?" Anko asked, accepting a fresh flask of sake from Naruto.

"Alright I guess," Naruto replied, starting to look a little abashed as she turned to face Kurenai, "You were right I guess, well with strangers at least. It still sort of felt nice, but it was sort of gross as well. I guess I didn't like it, not really..." She sighed, tossing her head, "I don't know, is it always like that?"

"Sometimes it can be," Kurenai said, "But you seemed to be able to get them to back off fairly easily, and besides it's not a problem unique to women. Think of your friend Sasuke, and the girls who used to pester him."

"They still do a bit." Naruto grumbled, her expression turning a little bit sulky, causing Anko to laugh aloud.

"Don't be so jealous, brat. Unwanted attention is nothing to be envious of." Anko tossed back another cup of sake, thinking about it. There was something off about the whole situation really.

"Hey," she asked, "If you don't like the attention can't you just transform into a less attractive woman?"

Naruto tilted her head back, seeming to ponder upon it for a moment before replying.

"You know, I don't could think I could do that."

Anko almost laughed again at that. "You're too vain for your own fucking good, you know Brat?"

Naruto's smile was back in full force now, and there was an energy there that had been missing in the blonde since that morning. Maybe, Anko began to think, they had actually manageds to do her some good after all.

"Maybe I'm not humble enough," Naruto said, "But no one can say I'm not hot enough."

------


	3. Chapter 3: Naruto

Chapter Three – Naruto

------

Twilight had already come when they entered the bar, and by the time they left it was late enough that most of the houses had since doused their lights and laid their heads upon their pillows. The odd porch or shop-front light illuminated patches of the roads through which they walked, but for the most part they had to travel by little more than the light of the moon, and in a way Naruto was grateful for that.

There was a type of silence that you only got under moonlight. Turn on your torch and suddenly every foot step sounded louder in the night. It could make Naruto feel truly alone too, without actually feeling lonely. Even walking along with Anko right by her side, it felt to Naruto like everything out of immediate sight might be nothing more than a dream. Everything else was so distant when she was beneath the stars.

It was bright tonight, the moon, having only just started waning in its cycle. It was certainly more than enough for two ninja to see by. Ninja, Naruto pondered, suddenly wondering if she counted as a kunoichi when she was a girl like this. Probably not, she pondered, there were probably special lessons you were supposed to have done in order to count as one.

She turned to ask Anko about it, and was struck by the way the moonlight painted the older ninja. Waring a light tan coat, and showing a lot of her skin, Anko stood out quite brightly against the darker surroundings. The light also made her look quite ghoulish.

Naruto didn't know whether the sight made her want to laugh aloud or to shiver. She did neither as she was instead distracted by another passing thought. Wearing little more than an open Jacket, wasn't Anko cold? Come to think of it, her own clothing wasn't exactly the warmest in the universe either. The dress wasn't exactly thick, and is didn't reach even as far as her knees. Alcohol, she supposed, was keeping the both of them warmer than they had any real right to be.

"So," Anko said turning to face her fully, "Is it my excellent body you are checking out, or just my brilliant sense in fashion?"

"Huh? Neither really." Naruto said, feeling her cheeks darken slightly, but no where near as much as she would have expected. It was somehow less embarrassing looking at the older and more psychotic ninja now that she'd spent the day getting to know her better. Or had she? Most of the conversations today had revolved around her own problems. She felt like she knew Anko better now, but it was more that she was becoming more familiar with her, rather than that she had actually learnt all that much more about her.

"Sure about that?" Anko asked, grinning, "'Cause I'm sure I could give you a few pointers on your own wardrobe if you wanted. Teach you the art of the bad girl image."

Naruto snorted, and tried to ignore the taunting but friendly tone of Anko's voice.

"No thanks. I don't think I'd be happy flaunting my body that badly."

Anko left a long enough pause before replying for Naruto to actually think about what it was she had just said and for her blush to deepen.

"Yeah I could always tell that about you," Anko said, once Naruto's cheeks were well and truly scarlet, "Especially last night. Why that kimono you had on must have covered almost half of your thighs, and that neckline completely covered your nipples, despite leaving everything above them bare. I'm amazed that it managed to stay up at all, but not as amazed as how nice your shoulders look bare."

The older girls grin was making Naruto increasingly flustered.

"Shut up," She muttered, but that only made Anko laugh, "I was drunk!"

"You don't need to tell me. You were completely, completely smashed." She started waving from side to side as she walked, and began to slur her words as she continued speaking, "Oh Kakasshhi... you are shoo handshome. Shuch shtrong armsh."

It was embarrassing, hearing someone imitate her own behaviour from the last night, but Naruto was surprised that the other woman's words weren't bothering her more. She'd been doing her very best to avoid thinking on what behaviour had actually resulted in her ending up in bed with her old teacher and current team leader. She felt stupid for every having been prepared to make that sort of fuss over any human being. Even thinking of the way she had used to act around Sakura made her wince.

Still, coming from Anko's lips it wasn't so bad. Anko was obviously trying to get a rise out of her, and damned if she wasn't succeeding, but somehow it now wasn't as offensive as it would have been with someone else. Somehow, with that girl things could manage to be both confrontational and also friendly. Still, that didn't mean Naruto was going to take it sitting down either.

"I wasn't the only one acting like that, you know," she complained, "You were doing that stuff too."

"Sure," Anko admitted freely, shrugging, "But I wasn't only trying to get my bar tab paid. I actually wanted to get laid, and I know I'm comfortable fucking Iruka. If I'd been less drunk though, I would've tried to stop you getting yourself into this mess in the first place. Sorry about that kid."

"It's okay," and Naruto was surprised to find that it really was. Without Anko egging her on she probably wouldn't have let anything even close to that happen, but ultimately it had been her decision to let herself get so drunk, and her decision to let it go so far with Kakashi. Anko had been far from sober herself, and even if she hadn't been it would be wrong to blame everything on her, "And yeah, I guess you are right. It's not really the same at all."

Comfortable... That sounded nice, being able to be sure that what she'd done was okay. Even being sure that it had been the worst mistake of her life would be preferable to her current uncertainty.

Part of her wished that it had been someone else; any of her other male friends or acquaintances would do, just so long it wasn't someone she'd have to see during training nearly every day. Yet it was only part of her that felt that way, which was what made it all so confusing. Better Kakashi than some other stranger who didn't understand or know her at all, but that wasn't all of it and she had no idea what the rest of it was, or how to go about finding out.

This evening had shown her that being in a woman's body, and being treated like a woman by strangers wasn't going to make her break into a million pieces. She could survive it and maybe even thrive; after all, her gender was hardly the sum total of who she was. Above and before all else she was Naruto Uzumaki, and she didn't need a penis to reassure herself of that fact.

The problem with that though, was that it didn't in anyway tell her what she needed to do. If being a girl had repulsed her in some way then she'd at least have some idea of what it was she had to do, but it hadn't. All in all it really wasn't all that different from being a guy.

What would Anko do in her situation, she briefly wondered? If she was to judge it from some of Anko's comments earlier today, Naruto would have to guess that she wouldn't care if the person was the same gender as her, and probably wouldn't even bother with the oiroke no jutsu. Then afterward, just because Anko seemed happier when in confrontation, Naruto guessed that she'd probably go fight someone just for the hell of it.

Not exactly the sort of answer that Naruto was looking for. Still, it had been interesting spending time with Anko.

"Hey Anko," Naruto found herself speaking before she'd decided whether she really wanted to ask the question or not, "What's happening between you and Iruka-sensei?"

"Fucked if I know," she said it simply and easily, but a stillness that hadn't been present before settled over her facial features.

Probably she shouldn't have said anything, Naruto realised, and probably she should stop talking right now before she made things even worse, but she couldn't leave it be. Not just yet.

"Just try not to hurt him, okay. I mean, do what ever you need to, whatever it is, but just please try not to hurt him."

Naruto expected some sort of explosion after that; to be hit by lightning, or something. Anko was staring at her now, but she hadn't yet drawn a weapon on her, or threatened her with death. That was probably the best that she could reasonably hope for, and so cautiously, she continued.

"He's gentle. Much gentler than me and you, I think, 'specially you. He doesn't really have anyone much either. Like me I guess. Like you too." Naruto wasn't really certain about Anko's home life, and had no real reason to suppose that about her, but it felt right, and judging from her reaction to it the guess hadn't struck too far off target.

"Yeah," Anko said after a pause that seemed far too long, "Fucked if I know how I'll do it, but I'll try."

"Thanks," Naruto said, swallowing, and wondering why she couldn't learn to keep quiet sometimes, "He hasn't said that much to me, but I think he cares, you know. He wouldn't do it I don't think, unless he trusted you." She knew he wouldn't, because in some ways Iruka was quite like her.

"Yeah..." Anko muttered again.

For a moment Naruto wasn't sure whether she'd completely screwed that up or not, but the silence that followed afterwards was comfortable, and the remainder of the trip back to her apartment seemed to drift past quickly.

"Thanks for, you know, taking care of me." Naruto said as she pulled out her keys, feeling faintly embarrassed for admitting she'd been helped at all.

"Don't worry about it brat," Anko shrugged it off, "Shit, I mean it wasn't much. Just a few drinks. Besides, you matter a lot to Iruka, and he's a good friend, so even If I didn't like you I'd still pretty much have no choice but to look after you."

"Well, thanks anyway."

Anko shrugged again. She looked even more uncomfortable receiving thanks than Naruto had felt about admitting she'd needed help, "Yeah. Look, just remember whatever or whoever you want, you are good enough to deserve it. The rest of it is the worlds fucking problem, not yours. Night brat."

"Hey Anko..." Naruto called out after the jounin as she started to walk away.

Anko paused, and actually turned back around to face her. "Yeah brat?"

"The same goes for you too," Naruto said, shuffling her feet. How was she supposed to deal with this sex stuff when even admitting to friendship like this was making her embarrassed, "I'll look after you too if I can. Just let me know."

"A little brat like you doesn't have shit I need."

But Anko was smiling as she said it, and this time her smile was missing the harsh edges of her earlier grins.

"Sleep well brat. Try not to accidentally fuck anyone."

---

It was the sound of sparrows singing that woke Naruto up in the morning. Suzume was such a pretty name for a creature, he thought for himself. If he had a daughter maybe he'd call her that. He'd like his children to be like birds; with beautiful and elegant voices, fast reflexes, and the ability to fly away from any unreasonable expectations that anyone might try to put upon them.

He lay there beneath the covers for a time, letting the warmth that had accumulated beneath them hold him comfortably until finally hunger dragged him from bed. He threw the covers back, and took a look at the readout on his bedside clock. It was flashing the time out at him with angry red numerals that seemed to be reprimanding him for how late he'd slept.

10:43

It was much later than he usually rose, but still not late enough. He really could do with an extra hour or two. Technically their team had today off too, and he didn't have to meet with the rest of his team, but he doubted that they'd be real happy with them if he just didn't bother to show up. He wasn't looking forward to it, not today. He didn't want to have to tell Sakura or Sasuke what had happened after they had left, but he didn't feel so great about the idea of intentionally hiding it from them either. He'd kept enough from them when he hadn't trusted them with the secret of the Kyuubi. He didn't want lie to them by omission again, but how was he supposed to explain what had happened to them when he didn't even understand it himself, and what were they going to think of him?

Sasuke's reaction he could guess at. He would probably be a prick about it, whatever it was that he really felt about the matter. He'd probably dismiss it as being trivial anyway, once he'd managed to get Naruto worked up about it a couple of times. Sakura's reaction, on the other hand, Naruto had no idea how to predict. Even a mind reader probably couldn't predict how that girl would react. Naruto might no longer be the attention-starved kid that he had been when their team was first formed, but he still cared about them. He might not need Sakura's approval for everything he did, but he didn't think he could stand to have her disapproving of what he'd done, not when he still hadn't wrapped his head around it.

Well, he supposed things weren't going to resolve themselves even if he spent the next year hiding apartment, which meant there was no good excuse for avoiding meeting up with the others. Committing himself fully to the course of action, he threw on a fresh set of clothes while his instant noodles softened, and then ate as hurriedly as he was able.

If he ran, he could probably manage to not be too late.

He was the last one there, except Kakashi of course, but he was only just a little bit over half an hour late, which was within the acceptable level when compared with how long they usually ended up waiting for Kakashi.

Briefly Naruto wondered what would have happened if their team had arranged to meet yesterday. Would he have arrived with Kakashi and been equally as late? How would it affect things if he had been the one to actually make Kakashi tardy? Would the older man have stayed back purely so he could be later still. Naruto shook the thoughts from his head. It was stupid thinking about that sort of thing. They hadn't had training yesterday, and even if they had Kakashi probably wouldn't have wanted to spend any more time than necessary with him after what happened.

So much for not dwelling on it...

Sasuke was standing alone this morning, firmly and deeply entrenched in his scowling and brooding mode. Naruto knew from experience that it really wasn't worth the effort of dealing with Sasuke when he was in one of his moods, so he settled for calling out a quick and relatively friendly "Morning Bastard," to him, and headed over to where Sakura leant over the rail of the bridge.

Naruto didn't really feel like company, but company was better than sitting alone and ending up dwelling on what had happened again, so he set himself up beside Sakura. He echoed her pose, propping his lower arms on the bridges wooden rail, and staring down at the water as it drifted beneath them.

He wished he was a leaf maybe, or some other piece of water-carried piece of detritus, free to let the currents carry him along to his destination. It was too difficult having to work out what he had to do. Why couldn't the currents of life just take him where they wanted? He was sure that he could cope with whatever happened if he had to, just so long as he was able to leave the decision to someone else.

No, that wasn't true, not really. He couldn't truly be satisfied with a life that he hadn't chosen, but at this moment he truly wished that wasn't the case. A life without choice, or consequences of his making seemed exceedingly tempting right now.

Selecting one of the larger floating sticks as a target, Naruto took careful aim and hurled a single shuriken from his holster, smiling with satisfaction when it struck true and imbedded itself firmly in the driftwood. He was less satisfied when the additional weight of the metal shuriken pulled the stick downwards and they both sunk down into the water until they were out of sight. Hopefully that wasn't an omen or anything, because he couldn't afford to let his current problems drag him down beneath the surface.

"Hey Sakura," he said shifting slightly to look at the girl beside him, "How have you been since the little party?"

He took immediate notice when she suddenly stiffened. She turned angrily and jerkily, as if she expected to find him jeering at her, but mustn't have found what she was looking for, because soon enough she let herself droop and sag back down to the rail. Instead of answering she just let out a forlorn and exaggerated sigh, and looked even sorrier for herself.

Naruto thought about leaving her alone too, but no matter how irritating Sakura might find him sometimes, he also knew that there were occasions when she really did need to talk to him. If he was lucky she wouldn't even decide he was trying to irritate her.

"Has it really been that bad?" he wondered aloud, "Did you get a hangover or something?"

She looked over at him to make doubly certain that he was being serious, before taking a look back over her shoulder at Sasuke and then finally shuffling closer to Naruto and dropping her voice so she couldn't be over heard. It was nice that she was willing to confide in him more these days though probably he could have made it come a lot sooner by just stopping pestering her for dates earlier.

"I did something really stupid." Her voice was the gloomiest that Naruto had heard it in quite some time.

"You did something stupid?" Naruto said before he could catch himself, not used to Sakura being willing to admit to such things. Oddly enough she didn't take umbrage to it this one time.

"I shouldn't have let you and Anko talk me into drinking," it was a bad sign hearing her say that. The fact that she was gloomy instead of angry was bad enough, but if she was still worrying about stuff that had happened two nights ago then it must be pretty bad, "You two were drinking so much that it really didn't feel like I'd had that much, and everyone seemed so sober compared to you guys. I should have known better."

She wasn't even blaming him for whatever had gone wrong, and that made Naruto even more worried.

"What happened?" he risked asking, wincing when the gloom seemed to settle even further upon her.

"Sasuke." she muttered forlornly, "He walked me home last night but when we got back to my place I tried to kiss him."

"So?" Naruto wondered aloud before he could stop himself, "It's not like Sasuke doesn't know that you like him. You've been trying to get him to kiss you since we were twelve or something."

"Not like this, I haven't. I actually got my lips on him, a proper long kiss, even if we were drunk," she stopped to let out a long sigh, "and then he just walked off. I couldn't find him anywhere at all yesterday, and he's been ignoring me since he got here. I thought I'd stopped doing stupid things like this since Sasuke came back. He probably hates me now."

"Nah, he probably doesn't hate you," Naruto tried to keep thinking positively, and tried to keep himself focused on her problems instead of his own, but with so much uncertainty in his own head it was difficult. He found him self speaking bitterly instead, "Well it could have been worse right? You could have slept with him instead of kissing him, and still had him ignore you."

He winced, feeling both stupid and selfish for dragging his own problems into the conversation, but Sakura didn't seem to have noticed anything odd about what he'd said.

"I don't know..." She sighed and leaned out further over the rail. It seemed to Naruto that perhaps she too was searching for answers in the waters currents. It took her a while before she was ready to continue, "I think that might have been alright. Better than this at least. I kissed him, not the other way round. All he did was stand there and not think to pull away for a couple of seconds. That's nothing. That tells me nothing. Sex requires two, doesn't it? At least at I'd know he'd wanted it then even if he regretted it later. I'd know that somewhere inside him that some part of him had felt something for me, you know, even if just a little bit. That would be something worth having had. That would be something I could really hold onto. Even if he never spoke to me again, I think it would still be better than this maybe, you know?"

Sakura straightened up a little, and looked over to Naruto to give him a sad little smile and a half shrug.

Sakura seemed to be feeling at least as negatively as Naruto himself was, but she also seemed to genuinely believe it too. He couldn't understand it really, thinking that sex meant so much that she was willing to have it even if it ruined everything else afterwards. For her it obviously had special meaning to it inherently, even if it was accidental, but could it really be such a special thing? It was just sex, wasn't it? Hormones and lust. A meeting of the bodies wasn't necessarily a meeting of the minds or souls.

It wasn't that He didn't think that sex could be special, because he really did. He'd wanted is own first time to be special, after all. It could be special, but it didn't have to be, right? Just because it happened didn't inherently make it a special event, did it? The fact that he and Kakashi had slept together didn't necessarily mean that anything special or wonderful had happened, for instance. Couldn't it just have meant that they'd both been very drunk? Maybe Kakashi found his girl body attractive too, but it didn't have to mean all that much else did it? Sex could just be about attraction and lust, couldn't it? It wasn't always some fairy tale wonderful thing.

"Sakura," He said, trying to explain these things, "Just 'cause you have sex, I mean..."

A pulse of chakra interrupted him and drew both their attention away from the conversation and to the centre of the bridge where Kakashi arrived amongst a sudden swirl of leaves. He wasn't as late as usual, Naruto noticed, and wondered what that meant. Did it mean he was more collected than usual, or less, or was it just coincidence, and only seemed relevant because ever since they'd had sex he couldn't stop himself from second guessing every thing that happened?

The jounin looked around the bridge, his visible eye wrinkling up into something approximating a smile even as he took in the sorry state of his team.

"Alright then," Kakashi said, "Shall we get started?"

---

The training helped, it really did. There wasn't a much better distraction from his troubles than putting every ounce of effort and willpower towards perfecting his technique. When he was focused so fully on how his body was moving there was no room left in his mind for worry.

On top of that, he actually enjoyed this sort of training these days. It could be draining and exhausting, but he nearly always finished up the days exercise with a smile on his face. When he was younger his mastery of physical combat styles had been sloppy at best, but that was a problem that he had eventually addressed. These days he knew that although he might not be the best, he was definitely good, and there was a simple sort of pleasure in practicing something in which he knew he had some skill. Minor upsets and worries would always burn away as he went through his various routines, and even faced this time with a problem a couple of orders of magnitude larger than his usual ones it was doing a lot to help him. He should have done this yesterday. Talking to Kurenai and Anko had been useful, he was sure, but if he'd made the time to do something physical before had perhaps he wouldn't have been stewing in his own misery quite so badly while the two ladies were advising him.

A whole day, he realized now. He'd let himself be worried and upset for more than a whole day. Who the hell did he think he was, that broody bastard Sasuke? When had it been is way to stew in his own misery? He was the one who was supposed to be cheerful. He hadn't solved his problem, and still didn't even have much of an idea as to how you went about resolving something like this, but perhaps it was time to try and look for solutions with a smile upon his face.

Of course, that didn't exactly mean that he was ready to confront Kakashi yet, just that he'd be smiling while he did his best to avoid him.

Naruto finished his cool down exercises and wiped sweat from his brow. Sasuke had stormed off some time ago, and Sakura was already drifting forlornly away from the training area. Kakashi had finished his own exercise a minute or two ago, and was standing to one side. He seemed absorbed in his little book, but that was only normal, and didn't tell Naruto anything useful at all.

Just walking off seemed like it would send the wrong message, though he couldn't exactly say why he thought that was, and he certainly didn't know what the _right_ message was. If he couldn't leave then what could he do? Just walk over there with a cry of "Yo," or of "Oi"? Would that make it seem like he was completely ignoring what had happened? What if he just came right out and said it, "So we had sex together, huh," or something like that? Would that appear too eager? There were a thousand different ways to approach it, he was sure, but every single one of them seemed wrong.

Stuff it. He was just going to act as normal as he could manage to. Even if that approach was the wrong one, well at least he knew how to act that way. He'd act cheerful while he did it too, because he'd had well and truly enough of acting mopey and confused. If he could just keep thinking and acting like it was all going to work out, then maybe it actually would. Acting like it was going to be a disaster certainly wouldn't help matters any.

He squared his shoulders and prepared to march right over to his team leader, only to be distracted by a cry from behind him.

"Naruto. Hey Naruto," he looked back over his shoulder to see Iruka hurrying towards him, "Got time to share lunch with me and have a bit of a chat?"

Naruto hesitated, torn between the two options. Lunch with Iruka would almost certainly mean a free Ramen meal, and it also provided a legitimate excuse to put the unpleasant task off a little while. On the other hand, he really _should_ try and sort things out with Kakashi, before the situation got any worse through neglect. Just he wasn't exactly how to tell Iruka that he didn't want to share ramen with him. The older man would probably think he'd been replaced with a doppelganger or something.

The problem was taken out of Naruto's hands as he felt a build up in chakra and turned back to face Kakashi only to see him disappear in a swirl of leaves. Naruto would have to find another opportunity to talk to the man, and he couldn't quite stop the wave of relief that rushed through him at the thought.

"Yeah, lunch'd be fine," Naruto replied to Iruka as the man drew closer, taking a final look at the spot where Kakashi had been standing moments before, "Not much else to do now, I suppose."

"Alright then, let's go."

They made the walk in silence, but it was a comfortable silence. They rarely were able to cause each other offence, and even if they did manage to, neither would stay angry long. As such there was never any need to choose their words carefully, and so those silences that grew between them were natural and unstrained. It was the type of silence that occurred in good company, when there was nothing that needed to be said quite yet. Besides, it was always nice to save the conversation for when they had a delicious bowl of ramen in front of them.

Conversation resumed only once they had seated themselves at the ramen stand and had made their orders. The question came, of course, the very moment that Naruto had lifted noodles to his mouth.

"So you remember what happened now right?" Naruto's old teacher asked him, "That was why you didn't come back to my place yesterday, right?"

Naruto looked over at Iruka shocked, the noodles still dangling from his lips. It was several moments before he remembered to slurp them up and hurriedly swallow them. He sort of assumed that Anko would have already told Iruka. Really had no idea how often they hung out, but the way Anko had treated him the other night had somehow reminded him of Iruka, and he knew that they were friends; somehow he had assumed that the knowledge would have already been shared between them.

"Yeah," he admitted, "Yeah I remember. Well sorta at least. I mean, I remember little bits and pieces and stuff, but not all of it," Naruto shook his head, shifted frame of reference a little bit. He didn't really want to talk specifically on what Iruka was really asking about, "I mean I remember Anko starting to get me to drink, and I remember arguing with her about being a sexy babe, and, uh, doing a couple of stupid things, but yeah, I don't remember it a lot of it."

It wasn't that Naruto didn't really want to think about what had happened, it was just the idea of talking about it with Iruka made him feel incredibly weird. The man was the closest thing he'd had to a father, and the idea of talking with him about having sex accidentally and with another guy made him feel quite uncomfortable.

Iruka however wasn't ready to let it go at that.

"But you remember a bit about what happened after we got back to my place, right?"

"Yeah, a bit," Naruto reluctantly admitted. Hell, what was he doing trying to avoid this. It might be a bit uncomfortable, but if anyone deserved to be trusted with the knowledge, then Iruka did. Hesitantly he continued, worrying that Iruka would hate him for what he was about to say, but already feeling stupid for doubting him, "I remember that it felt pretty good..."

Iruka looked pretty shocked at that. It obviously wasn't he'd been expected to hear. Naruto wondered suddenly if he'd wanted any details at all.

"It did? You don't... Are you going to..." it was fairly obvious that Iruka couldn't make up his mind as to exactly what it was he was thinking, let alone what it was he wanted to ask.

Naruto decided to answer none of the possibilities, to just o talk around the issues, instead of answering a question directly.

"I don't understand any of it really. I'm still not sure what to think or what to feel about it. I've been trying to work it out, but I still don't know. I don't even know if I want to just forget it or not, you know." That wasn't really explanation enough of how lost and uncertain he felt about the whole situation, but if a good description existed then he had no way to know how to find it. He settled for shrugging hopelessly as he finished.

"I'm sorry Naruto," Iruka said, starting to sound somewhat downcast, "I should have looked out for you better. I should never have let you drink that much. Even worse, I was the one who brought Anko along," as he spoke his expression grew to appear more and more guilty.

That wasn't what Naruto had intended. It was bad enough that he'd been feeling bad for the last day; he didn't want to share that with Iruka. He'd already promised himself that he was going to stop being so gloomy, hadn't he? Closing his eyes he breathed in deeply, enjoying the smell of the Ramen being cooked on the other side of the counter, and let the joyous scents re-summon his smile.

"Hey, don't worry about it. It wasn't your fault or anything. You were drunk too, right? Anyway it's not your job to decide what I do. I was sober when I let Anko start bullying me into drinking. It was my own fault not yours, so don't worry about it or anything. I'll work it out what to do eventually."

Iruka didn't look particularly convinced, but he nodded grudgingly, finished the last of his bowl of ramen and gestured Ayame over to take another order.

"Could I get a bowl of Chicken Ramen, please," he asked the girl when she wandered over.

"Of course you can," she replied before glancing over at Naruto, "What about you Naruto. Would you like something else too?"

It was a bit of a silly question really, seeming as Iruka was picking up the tab tonight, but then she was probably taken off guard by the fact he hadn't finished his first yet.

"Yeah. I'd like another Miso ramen."

Ayame nodded and started to turn away from them, only to stop in mid movement.

"You both seem a little hangdog," she mused, "What's the matter? Girl troubles or something?"

"Something like that," Naruto muttered.

"Like that?" Ayame echoed, a light hearted smile upon her face, "You don't mean boy troubles do you?"

Naruto couldn't stop himself from visibly. He noticed that her teasing smile collapsed immediately to a look of sympathy.

"Oh Naruto... If it is really like that then it must be very difficult. Whatever you are feeling at the moment, well there's nothing at all wrong with it, so don't let anyone make you feel that there is!"

She sounded so sincere, and Naruto had no idea what he was supposed to say to her.

"Uh..." he started pathetically. How the hell he could explain this. It wasn't the way she seemed to think it was, at least not really, "That is..."

"Look," she said, not waiting for his confused attempts at a denial, "I've got to work now, but if you ever need someone to talk to then you can come to be about it, okay Naruto? Just remember not to feel ashamed, okay? Anything that comes from your heart is pure."

"Err, okay..." was the best Naruto could manage as she bustled off.

She had the wrong idea, of course. The reality was certainly more complex and confusing than whatever she was imagining, yet somehow her show of support was still making Naruto feel more cheerful. Good food and good people. He supposed there wasn't much of a better combination out there.

Still...

"People are so confusing," he complained to Iruka, but this time with a smile he didn't have to try to maintain, "Why can't people be as easy to understand as jutsu?"

Iruka actually laughed, which Naruto supposed was a good sign.

"Still going on about cool jutsu are you Naruto? I always thought you might grow out of that phase."

Naruto shook his head happily.

"'Course not! I didn't grow out of loving Ramen, so why should I grow out of loving jutsu! Besides, I'm going to be Hokage some day, and I'm supposed to know at least a hundred jutsu by then. I'm sure that Granny Tsunade will live at least another hundred years but she's still and old woman. I think she'll probably start to go senile pretty soon, and I have to be ready to take over from her when she does. So learning those jutsu is pretty important, don't you think?"

"Naruto," Iruka said, laughing again, "Shouldn't you be more careful what you say. What do you think she'd do to you if she heard you talking about her like that?"

"Oh I know exactly what she'd do to me, but I'm growing immune to her punches these days so I'm not too worried."

This was more like it. These were the sort of complex dilemma that he was capable of dealing with. It only got better when the next bowl of ramen arrived.

"So," Iruka asked after the first few mouthfuls of the new bowl, "What jutsu _have _you been working on?"

"Today I was..." Naruto started, only to realize that the noodles still in his mouth were reducing his speech to being completely incoherent. Swallowing he tried again, "Not much today really, just general training. Supposed to be having a break over the last few days, so we've only been doing enough to stop us loosing our edge. Taijutsu mostly, and jutsu we've already learnt.

"If you mean more overall though," he continued, "Then I guess I've been working on earth jutsu mostly at the moment. I've learnt most of the wind jutsu I can get hold of already now, and earth's my next best element, so yeah. Rock spikes that pierce enemies legs, stone armour for my kage bunshin, that sort of stuff, you know."

"Armoured bunshin?" Iruka sounded a little surprised at the idea, "I'm not sure that I can imagine that."

"Well it's not exactly armour," Naruto scrunched up his brow. He tended to think of it that way, even if it wasn't very accurate, "More like toughening their skin with stone or other earth, so that they can withstand a bit more damage before they dissipate. Uses more chakra of course."

"You can actually do that?" If anything Iruka looked more surprised now.

"Err, well I think you can," Naruto reached up to scratch at his ear as he spoke, "I've been working on it a while now, and I can't come up with any reason why it shouldn't. It's a bit tricky but I think I'm getting close to working out a way to do it properly."

"Naruto," the teacher asked, "You don't mean that you are trying to create a jutsu of your own do you?"

"Uh I guess so," strangely enough Naruto found that he was actually a little embarrassed to admit it to his old teacher. He hadn't exactly planned on telling anyone else about it until he'd actually perfected it, "I've been trying to at least. Ero-senin and Kakashi have been helping me with it too, but it was my actual idea, so uh yeah, I guess I am."

"That's a big step Naruto, I'm proud of you," Iruka was smiling but Naruto noticed that his eyes had started drifting away, "That reminds me though... Have you actually talked to Kakashi since it happened?"

This time Naruto managed to contain his wince just a little bit better. Iruka was important to him, but sometimes he had a way of making Naruto feel like he was being lectured in front of a whole classroom again, even when he wasn't actually accusing him of anything.

"Uh, not really. We said hello, but yeah... No. I haven't."

"Are you going to?" Iruka continued to probe.

Naruto found himself giving a short and unconvincing little laugh.

"Yeah I guess. I meant to anyway. Just I'm not sure what I'll actually say when I do."

"Maybe," suggested Iruka, looking like he was almost as nervous as Naruto was feeling, "It might help if there were some other people there when you did, in case you want support or anything, or to diffuse the situation if it gets too awkward."

"You think that would help?" Naruto asked, wondering where this suggestion had come from. Did people normally get moral support before talking to the person they'd accidentally slept with?

Iruka didn't exactly answer the question.

"I thought that maybe I could Invite Kakashi, Anko and you over to dinner tomorrow night. Maybe that sort of environment would make it a bit easier to deal with."

Naruto didn't know if it really would help. It seemed a bit strange really, inviting people along to watch the uncomfortableness, and somehow thinking that would actually make things better. All the same, he was finding himself oddly comforted by the idea of having Anko and Iruka alongside him.

"Maybe, yeah," he answered, "Okay, I'll do it."

There were so many ways that the situation could still blow up in their faces, and yet surprisingly, alongside the nervousness there was a definite sense of anticipation building. After all, problems were best dealt with head on, right?

He'd deal with it head on, and some how he'd manage to do it with a smile.

------

end chapter three.


End file.
